Ok, I got a CONFESSION and I heard the "Confessions is good for the soul...." right? Anyway, when I started Passion Academy, 5 weeks worth of classes that was started by 2 wonderful, powerful, meek and beautiful women, I thought that I was ready for the next level. I mean I had all these dreams and visions. I was doing them or part of them......well, I started anyway....but I was doing more that MOST people, right? I mean, at least I was moving......
As I continue with this journey and as I look back on the GOOD stuff that the Academy taught me, things like K.I.M and buying a plant. Oh let's not forget writing your story and making your vision boards. All of these things that I KNEW I had in the bag. I KNEW that I could do them and move forward or upward, but then REALITY came in a smacked my in the face....HARD. I was NOT ready. I didn't have the confidence to act on what was being taught and move forward. I didn't know what my next move should be or how to pursue it.
In additional to THAT I was mimicking other people, WTH, I mean how messed up is that! I would hear and listen to other peoples story or read a REALLY good articles about how someone else over came their challenge or pursued their dreams and I would mimic them and try to do things exactly like they did. They did it, they had positive results, they, they, THEY! What about me, me, ME.......well the realty is, I STILL HAD ISSUES, UGH. I had issues with myself, my past, my relationship, my present. Did I do the 1st assignment right? I looked in the mirror, I wrote the list. Did I miss something? Nope, I didn't. The fact of the matter was, I was NOT where I thought I was and I was NOT as ready as I thought I was.......
Since then, I have walk out on faith and pursued the birthing of a platform, which was formed out of my pain and journey, "Conversations from the Heart". I have a couple of faithful people that encourage me, push me pray for me and hold me accountable to the tasks that God sets before me. I have some GREAT mentors that set me up and PUSH me out, even when I am nervous and not confident in myself, because they believe in the power that lies inside of me, WHAT A BLESSING! :-) Even though I still deal with certain issues and set-backs, God STILL loves me enough to send me some help and assistance, WOW.
These days, as I dig DEEP, I am finding out more and more about myself. I am learning to be totally honest and real with me, 1st. Being transparent with yourself is not an easy task, but I am grateful for the strength and endurance that has been birth in me.
My testimony is I am no longer afraid of being honest with myself. For years, I have been making excuses and justifying reasons for why I was the way that I was. When the reality is, I just was NOT ready or I was just plain out of order! I thank God today for strength, for in my weakness, HE is made strong!!!